You are a lying, cheating, worthless piece of cow manure, but if you give us your house, we will bless you and call you sanctified.
We have a team of loving medical doctors / counselors who are ready to help you with all your spiritual and prescription needs.
That's right, you little demonic vampire wanna be. You're heavenly toast. But... if you submissively climb underneath our authoritarian umbrella -- we will prayerfully pop you out of God's eternal toaster oven.
Hear about all of our latest faith healings, pastoral habitation "moving in" parties as well as our miraculous funeral cancelations.
We love fresh meat, but we love new houses even better. Let our team of relocation experts come check out your home and see if you are worthy of recieving a heavenly eviction notice.
We'd love to hear from you. Contact us at: Inquisitor@theobservance.org
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